omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
