Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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