I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
