Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
a search helicopter?!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
