I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
