Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
zippers are such a cool invention
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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