Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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