you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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