So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
