I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
