I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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