Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
