I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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