Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
