So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
