It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
