i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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