How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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