coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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