I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
