I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
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Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
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You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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