She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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