I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Houston, we have a blender
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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