I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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