i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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