At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
