I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
