how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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