my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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