only you would photoshop your dick
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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