man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
