I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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