who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
