Someone shit on the floor
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
