my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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