i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
