Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Randomize