Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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