You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
