Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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