Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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