At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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