I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
