i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
