the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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