get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
