Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
