She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
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There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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