i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
