one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize