you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
