I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
