Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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