wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
