I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
