So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
so much tequila, so little girl.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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