Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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