Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I fill condoms, not promises.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
