I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
